Paranoid

from Novocaine by Duch Dillinger

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lyrics

It’s getting hard to explain why I’m crying
Used to be stars up in my eyelids
Now they’re lying on the floor by my feet
Getting closer to the cake but it’s not smelling as sweet
Wanna go back
Back when proving ‘em wrong was what mattered
Pissed off that they can’t see talent
So I hustled ’til they did it, show muscle ’til they listened
Whys it feel like somethings missing, now I’m so close to my vision
Not a kid no more, can’t kid no more
They hate me ‘cuz I’m not on they dick no more
And I’m feeling like I don’t give a shit no more
I wish I did
‘Cuz all that grinding
And this is it
My chance to fly, spread my wings
Sun came out, and I caught the wind, and its time to jump
And I’m scared as shit

I raise my voice
Fill my voids
Cuz Im so fucking paranoid
Im so fucking paranoid
Im so fucking paranoid

I feel this force taking over and over me
Do what I can to stay lifted

Ill just..
aise my voice
Fill my voids
Cuz Im so fucking paranoid
Im so fucking paranoid
Im so fucking paranoid

All I ever wanted, sabotaging myself
I hear myself explaining it to somebody else
And I wanna grab myself, slap myself, stand me up, and rise above
I wanna shake myself, can’t take myself, don’t hate myself, but where’s the love?
I ate clean all year, where’s my drugs?
I’ll tell you when I smoke enough
A thousand rounds, a thousand miles
20 devils, with 40 smiles
100 swords, 1000 men
1 young me, 1 mic, 1 pen
Fuck out my face, I need my zen
Should see this shit I’m tackling
Whole damn life need aspirin, wake up how am I gonna last again?
Just grasping at a gasp of air I wish that I could swallow
Keep afloat today and maybe I’ll make waves tomorrow
Ain’t worried ‘bout those bitches see they pussy like a porno
Have you ever been afraid of everything that you wanted?
Not that you’re weak, but that you might be the strongest?
And nobody gets you, but you hate isolation?
And you could be the greatest, but you’re so scared of your greatness?
And the artist inside you just hate it, feeling so fucking degraded
Waited for this for so long, how dare you see chance and not take it?
Fuck you, you’re jumping, you’re jumping, you’re jumping like yo
Summon that shit from your soul, can’t fly if you never let go

credits

from Novocaine, released February 11, 2017

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Duch Dillinger Toronto, Ontario

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